How I’ve missed writing and sharing with you all.  It truly is a pleasure that is all mine.  Now I’m finally back with lots of fun etiquette stuff to talk about, starting with a lesson I have just learned.  It never occurred to me how many people follow this blog for tips and info that help them through sticky or embarrassing situations.  While I informed coworkers and colleagues that I was taking off, I didn’t think to say to you all that I needed to take a break and that I would return to blogging at a later date.  When people started asking when I would start writing about etiquette again, I realized that I never really excused myself.  My lesson learned is that when you build a vehicle to help others, they will expect you to show up; and when you cannot be available, you have the responsibility of informing your friends and followers.

Forgive my absence.  Once we know better, we do better.  Whether you are taking a big leap or making a small move, make the effort to inform those who support you, who are important to you and who you want to remain connected with.

Here I am, at your disposal.  If you have questions related to etiquette, don’t hesitate to shoot me an email at DrJai@jcupid.me.

Jennifer Lawrence at the Oscars
Photo credit: Reuters

What to do, what to do when you trip and fall on your face at the biggest event of the year?  I certainly speak from experience on this, since I’ve managed to do it on many fabulous occasions.  The only way to handle it is to fall all the way out and play it all the way up!  Don’t try to hide it, play it off, or downplay it.  You just have to go for the full sympathy of the crowd.  Make them feel like they have to check that you are OK before they react.  Then, at that point, you have two gracious options: 1. stay put and look completely distraught; or 2. get up and burst into laughter, signaling that it is alright for everyone else to laugh with you – not at you.  Lastly, you can mention the blunder to take the edge off and put everyone (yourself included) at ease.

Business Casual

Business

Business Casual with Jeans/Jean Fridays

Business Casual

Casual

It tickles me that every year, right around early summer, just about every company I’ve worked at has to remind employees of the dress code. It’s like the weather gets hot and people lose their minds …and clothes.

Every office or work environment has it’s own dress code, often found in the company’s code of conduct document. It is best to refer to this document if you are unsure of what is considered acceptable and appropriate work attire. If you are really lost on the matter, contact the human resources department with your questions.

Keep in mind that what is appropriate to wear to work varies depending on whether the dress code is business, business casual, casual, or uniform.  Many younger companies that encourage innovation and creativity take a laid back approach to attire, but even in those instances that does not mean you should walk into work like you are America’s Next Top Stripper. To help out, here is a list of clothing articles you should probably avoid wearing at jobs that are business or business casual:

• Short shorts
• Ripped denim
• T-shirts with logos, words or graphics
• Flip flops
• Tube tops
• Mini skirts
• Plunging necklines
• Sheer tops without a camisole or undershirt

These are good to start off with, but please feel free to add to the list!

You are tossing the idea around in your mind, right? Surely, the way to control a discussion, direct the flow of ideas, and get someone to jump on your bandwagon is to use your words to convince and even manipulate. Yet, think about how much more likely you are to hear someone out and consider their point of view when you feel like they’ve been paying attention to you. You’re more willing to do something they’ve requested or give them what they’re asking for if you feel like that person has taken the time to listen to you and has shown a deep interest in what you think or feel. Beyond that realization, consider that the only way to know how to build an argument to budge others from their stance is to listen to them and figure out from which angle to approach their way of thinking. There within lies the compelling strength of a master conversationalist. If you are striving to become a great leader and influential figure, it’s worth it to acquire the following listening skills:

1. Don’t cut others off while they are talking. It’s disrespectful and it makes them feel like their ideas are being devalued. Be patient and let them finish their thought.

2. Actually pay attention. Avoid getting so caught up in coming up with a rebuttal or good come back line that you completely miss what the other person is expressing.

3. Use the various nonverbal gestures that let a person know you are present and connected. Try these nonverbal cues:

• Lean forward, without slouching.
• Make eye contact, instead of letting your eyes wander, but don’t stare.
• Nod your head, not like you’re falling asleep, but like you get what they’re saying.
• Smile/Laugh if they say something cheerful or funny.
• Put away any distracting devices, i.e. cell phones, mp3 players, etc.

4. Ask questions related to what the other person is talking about. That is a surefire way to let someone know you were not only paying attention, but that you’re interested.

Before I run off to another meeting, I’ll share with you one of my personal secret weapons: the head nod and furrowed brow combo. When my eyebrows move closer together and I nod my head as in “yes, I get what you’re saying,” without fail, the person who is speaking stops talking to everyone else in the room and directs his/her words towards me. If you need a big dog, power player to notice you, if even for a moment, then give that one-two punch a try.

Photo Credit: freedigitalphotos.net

Apparently, today, June 22nd is No Panty Day. Uh… Hurray? The day upon which every woman can free herself of the lacy undergarment contraptions. What better timing than in the middle of a nationwide heatwave?! Ahhhh – sigh of relief.

What remains a tad confusing to me is why we need a special day for it. If the spirit moves you and you want to go commando, then just do it! Before you break loose, though, a word of advice to all my lovely exhibitions out here:  There is no need to announce your bare-bottomness to everyone. Air it out quietly, wear something that covers your cheeks, and wax/shave just in case, please and thank you.

Love. Oh Love, how could you be so blind? 

When we’re head over heels for someone we make some of our most questionable decisions. It looks like our fashion choices may suffer right along with the rest of them, like this guy’s cute red crossbody chain purse. We know (hope) it’s his girlfriend’s, but come on, it matches his shirt perfectly and everything.

I suppose we’ve probably all been there at some point in our young, foolish lives, but hopefully nobody has a picture of it!

I began to think of my classes and how at the beginning of the semester some students think it is alright to text while I’m teaching or answer a call in class.  Contrary to their beliefs, there is a standard of cell phone etiquette that you should put into action when you are listening to a lecturer or presenter of any sort.  Practicing this short list of standards will help you to convey that you respect the person and the work they put into sharing information with you:

1. Turn off that cell phone ringer!  Vibrate is an option if the phone won’t be resting against anything that makes the vibration louder.
2. Put your cell phone away (out of site).  Hiding your phone behind your bag or in your lap while you type away is not the same as putting it away.
3. If you must keep your phone visible, then turn it face down so that the LED light notifications do not distract you or the presenter.
4. If you anticipate receiving a call or responding to a series of text messages, then take the conversation outside until you are done and ready to return.
5. When using the phone as a tool in the session, let your presenter know ahead of time that you will be using it for that reason.  For instance, if you will need to calculate data that will be discussed, then you should explain that you will keep your phone out in order to utilize the calculator.

As with everything else, there are exceptions to the rule.  In today’s world, with everyone being wired (or WiFi-ed), a presenter might ask the audience to keep their phones available to access the Internet in order to surf the web, visit a specific website, tweet about the lecture, or any of the other awesome things you can do on a smartphone now.  I take the liberty of incorporating that kind of technology usage into my lectures all the time and so do many others.  In those cases, by all means comply with the request.  Just keep in mind that the main purpose of you working on your cell phone is still to participate in the activity led by your presenter and not to text your BFF for an hour.